Internal Family Systems (IFS): Understanding Your Inner Parts

If you’ve ever found yourself saying things like “Part of me wants to do this… but another part of me is terrified,” you’re already speaking the language of Internal Family Systems (IFS). IFS is a compassionate, evidence-based therapeutic model that helps us make sense of these inner conflicts and move toward healing in a more integrated way.

IFS / Parts Work in Simple Terms

Parts work views the mind as a system made up of different parts — distinct emotional states, reactions, beliefs, or protective strategies that show up at different times. These parts formed for understandable reasons, often to help you cope or stay safe during stressful or painful experiences. IFS doesn’t label these parts as problems. Instead, it treats each part as meaningful and worth understanding.

Three Types of Parts

IFS (or parts work) organizes these inner roles into three broad categories:

  • Exile Parts that hold painful feelings or memories. They’re often younger, vulnerable parts that carry old hurt, shame, fear, or unmet needs.

  • Manager Parts focused on preventing pain. They try to keep you in control, stay prepared, avoid emotional risks, and maintain order.

  • Firefighter Parts that react quickly when emotional pain surfaces. They may use distraction, numbing, or intense coping strategies to bring quick relief.

These roles develop because your system is trying to protect you — even if the strategies can become exhausting or no longer helpful.

The Self: Your Internal Leader

IFS / parts work is built on the idea that everyone has a core Self — a steady, compassionate internal presence that isn’t damaged by past pain. This Self is capable of clarity, calmness, and curiosity.

Therapy helps you access more of this Self energy. When your parts feel that steady leadership, they tend to relax and open up.

What IFS Looks Like in Therapy

A typical parts work session might include:

  • Noticing a part that’s showing up (a feeling, reaction, thought, or physical response)

  • Getting curious about what it needs or fears

  • Understanding the role it has been playing in your life

  • Building a relationship with that part instead of pushing it away

  • Supporting the younger or wounded parts it protects Everything is paced around your safety and readiness.

The goal isn’t to remove parts — it’s to help them feel seen, understood, and more at ease.

How Parts Work Helps

People often find IFS / parts work especially helpful for:

  • Anxiety or inner conflict

  • Trauma and attachment wounds

  • Shame or self-criticism

  • Emotional overwhelm or shutdown

  • Feeling “stuck” in certain patterns

  • Difficulty understanding why they react so strongly

It helps you understand your reactions and develop more space, compassion, and choice around them.

A More Supportive Relationship With Yourself

At its core, IFS / parts work offers a structured and compassionate way to understand your internal world. Instead of battling with your thoughts or trying to suppress emotions, you learn how to listen to them and respond with more self-leadership. If you’re interested in exploring parts work in therapy and seeing how it might support your growth, I’d be glad to walk with you.

Schedule Appointment

Schwartz, R. C. (1995). Internal Family Systems Therapy. New York: Guilford Press.

Schwartz, R. C., & Sweezy, M. (2019). Internal Family Systems Therapy: Second Edition. New York: Guilford Press.

Schwartz, R. C., & Sweezy, M. (2016). The Mosaic Mind: Empowering the Tormented Selves of Child Abuse Survivors.

Sweezy, M., & Ziskind, E. (2013). Internal Family Systems Skills Training Manual. New York: Guilford Press.

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